I don’t even know why I’m crying right now. I haven’t cried in so long, and I’ve been so happy, and I’ve been enjoying my life so much ever since I moved on from my ex. I never wanted to catch feelings, and I still don’t. I don’t want to like anyone and I don’t want to be with anyone. I just want to enjoy myself and love myself, and be by myself, just for awhile. I’m tired of relationships, I’m tired of liking someone. I told myself a million times I’m not going to get myself attached to anyone, but what is this feeling that I’m feeling right now. Yes I do like him, but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to like him at all. Maybe it’s just because we spend so much time together, maybe too much time. Maybe because I see him everyday, and fall asleep and wake up next to him. Maybe it’s just an attachment and not actually real feelings. But I pushed him away because I don’t want to get too close, and now I’m upset. Why? What’s wrong with me? One second I’m happy, and the next I’m not. Why do I constantly find things to just pick fights? Why do I always turn good things into bad things? Why am I so fucked up? I don’t understand. I always fuck everything up for myself and I don’t know why.